I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
