on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
