So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
