yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
