You're my little dorito
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
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the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
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Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.