Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  My new storm is the chrons

  (248): View more from Michigan

  The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one

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  (248): My new storm is the chrons (248): The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one<div>(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one</div> http://tfl.nu/7nnd
  Replies (5) Good night (2172) Bad night (882)
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  (620): View more from Kansas

  Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me

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  (620): Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me http://tfl.nu/fd2j
  Replies (18) Good night (870) Bad night (2777)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy

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  (613): my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy http://tfl.nu/gete
  Replies (19) Good night (1737) Bad night (3721)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.

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  (304): Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record. http://tfl.nu/wo6o
  Replies (17) Good night (1267) Bad night (5798)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.

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  (417): My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong. http://tfl.nu/opsu
  Replies (14) Good night (1199) Bad night (7964)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.

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  (610): it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again. http://tfl.nu/0grs
  Replies (30) Good night (6535) Bad night (1203)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had

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  (717): They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had http://tfl.nu/qmkc
  Replies (46) Good night (4972) Bad night (1853)
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  (516): View more from New York

  I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life

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  (516): I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life http://tfl.nu/k5dc
  Replies (13) Good night (4618) Bad night (1203)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks

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  (440): Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks http://tfl.nu/2p99
  Replies (17) Good night (4754) Bad night (1830)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness

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  (503): He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness http://tfl.nu/9fad
  Replies (2) Good night (767) Bad night (510)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly

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  (309): well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly http://tfl.nu/pg5j
  Replies (4) Good night (2519) Bad night (626)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!

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  (870): Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking! http://tfl.nu/tcnj
  Replies (2) Good night (729) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...

  (480): View more from Arizona

  gifts from me to you. you're welcome.

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  (509): btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body... (480): gifts from me to you. you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/tkbz
  Replies (2) Good night (1130) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.

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  (+61): He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour. http://tfl.nu/sn8w
  Replies (1) Good night (330) Bad night (633)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death

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  (520): If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death http://tfl.nu/mtrm
  Replies (3) Good night (767) Bad night (357)

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