If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Randomize