Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
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