im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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