the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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