don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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