where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
