Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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