your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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