Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
