my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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