Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
