My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
