White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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