Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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