Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
