you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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