I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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