i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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