I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand Curling. That high.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize