I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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