he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
