38 yer olds are good kisserssss
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!