I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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