my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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