i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
