You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
