I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Woke up backwards on a recliner
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
