Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
