Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Randomize
