I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
