I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
