i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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