I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
