My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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