Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
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