You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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