If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
