A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
