i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
