I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
