I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize