I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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