I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize