what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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