Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Randomize