we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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