I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize