My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Randomize
