I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.