i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.