I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
