Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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