He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Fuck appropriateness.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
