Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
