I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
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