I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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