Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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